I had my little boy, in December 2015. I was really privileged to be able to take 12 months off on Maternity leave and I loved every single second! I knew that I was lucky and blessed, but I also knew that I didn't want to return to work.
There was nothing wrong with my job, the organisation I worked for or with being a working mum. In fact, there was no real reason for me to feel the way I did! If anything, that made it worse! I spent months dreading my return to work - even though it was way off in the distance, it took up so much of my time and energy. Whenever I talked to my husband about it, I cried.
When I returned to work, I had much lower self esteem, lower confidence and much lower energy levels. Thomas didn't sleep, so every night I was awake two, three or even four times. It took me much longer to make decisions - and even when I made them I doubted whether they were the right ones. Things had also moved on at work - when you are away a long time, everyone else moves on and adjusts. The gap that I used to fit neatly into, wasn't there! Some of my greatest allies and supporters had moved onto new roles. My battle with Imposter Feelings began and I spent so much time feeling out of my depth, out of step and waiting for someone to call me out on being a rubbish employee!
I had lost the person I was before I became a Mum! In all of the whirlwind of adjusting to a new way of life, meeting the demands of a tiny human and sleep deprivation - I had somehow lost myself!
At work, the only time I really felt at my best and bravest, was when I returned to coaching. I was part of the internal coaching pool at work - and I very quickly discovered that my passion for coaching was still very definitely there. In holding space for someone else to explore their vision, goals and challenges, I was able to be fully present and quieten those voices in my head!
I knew that coaching held the answer for me too - and I asked to be matched to one of my coaching colleagues!
That was the start of me figuring out who I was at my Best and Bravest! With my coach I had the chance to explore my core values, my strengths, the unique contribution that I make in the workplace (and in my own small way, the world!). My coach supported me to get feedback from my colleagues (which really helped me to tame my inner imposter). She also helped me to regain my confidence and put me back in touch with my big vision for the future!
My coach is the reason I am writing this blog today!!
So if you are reading this blog - and you have been feeling lost, out of step and out of your depth - I want you to know that there is a way back for you too! I promise that you can get back to being the Best and Bravest version of you (even if you are struggling to describe what that looks like right now)!
To get you started on your journey I would like to share with you my three top tips:
1. Get really clear about what is important to you and where you want to go in the future!
It is ok to have goals and dreams for the future! It is ok to want something that is just for you (even if you are a new mum and you haven't had chance to brush your hair yet today!). By getting really clear on where you are heading - you put energy and purpose back into your life!
2. Figure out what you are really great at!
Trust me - you are incredible! You have a unique set of strengths and talents - and they are still there, even if you are sleep deprived! When you look at other people and think "I wish I could ....." please know that someone else is looking at you thinking "I wish I could". Get to know your strengths, your personal values, the things that bring you huge amounts of joy and energy and find ways to do more of that!
3. Get a Cheerleader!
That cheerleader can be a coach, a trusted friend, a work colleague or a whole facebook group! (If you want to - you can join my group and borrow my cheerleaders too!). Having someone in your corner to cheer you on makes you braver, it gives you a reason to succeed! It also means you have someone to give you a gentle kick up the bum if you need it! My coach was my biggest cheerleader, my accountability buddy - and she had a great way of calling me out - if I wasn't showing up as the Best and Bravest Version of me!
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